How to write a funeral speech eulogy?

I must prepare to give a speech at family members funeral this coming weekend. I have tried writing many different verses, and words but none of them express what I want to say.

The problem is I don't really know what I want to say either.

I saw that you gave advice to a wedding speech as well as a christening baptism speech and was wondering if you were able to provide me with any professional thoughts, directions, or guidelines.

Margaret M

Dear Margaret,

firstly, may i take this opportunity to offer our deepest sympathies on the passing of your relative.

I think speaking from experience Margaret, the first thing to do is to distance your and take a break.

Before you start to write your speech think only a little about what you want to say.

I found personally, following the death of my father, that I needed to just go for a walk to mull over what I wanted to say.

There are the obvious themes explored in funeral and eulogy speeches Margaret, perhaps best categorized as :

Life history
A short summary of someone’s life. These speeches are often fascinating as reveal a side to the deceased that was not always known by everyone, and helps to bring moments of happiness and surprise at a time of great sadness.

Rememberance tribute 
Focusing on bringing out some of the highlights or achievements in somebody’s life. This is the form often adopted in many obituaries in the newspaper for example.

Shared memories
This is a personal insight not into the life of the deceased, much more so than for example discussing life history. Shared memories are often very personal, and would focus upon the specific memories that you shared with the deceased. These are often very touching, but contrary to many believes can often be the most emotionally challenging as it relies on you sharing your most treasure moments.

Legacy
Really defines what an individual has achieved and accomplished in their lifetime, and what they are leaving behind, and what exists because of them. Very often children, changed lives, completed projects, charitable donations etc.,.

It's often described as the greatest example of legacy, and can be read on the tomb of Sir Christomer Wren tomb in St Paul’s Cathedral. Where the stuation reads, “if you require a monument, look around you”.

Poem
Often one's strongest "crutch" in times of grief is found in the beauty of the arts, most specially in poems and verse. In many newspaper obituaries for example Margaret, as indeed on graves and on tombstones themselves, most people use several lines of poetry as a means of expressing their feelings.

If you wish Margaret I can forward to you several examples that may be fitting.

Reading
When special passages, texts, or words already expressed by an auothr seem most relevant, fitting, and apt.

I know that it is extremely difficult and emotionally draining time Margaret, in thought of the oncoming funeral, but if I may suggest try to just simply write down some of your thoughts perhaps to the points above and leave it there for today. Don't try to be too structured. Too precise. Or too definite. express your feelings to the points.

Our subconscious is a powerful thing Margaret and allows us to think through thoughts often without really realizing it.

You'll find that tomorrow your thoughts and wishes of what you would like to say are much clearer and the basis of your eulogy will be forming.

Thank you Martin, for your understanding.

I would be grateful for any verse, poem, or literature that you would recommend as relevant.

I'm most grateful for your help.

Margaret

You are most welcome Margaret.

I hope the following blessings may be of help and comfort to you at this time.

This is an old Indian Prayer Margaret, but the meaning, words, and sentiment most valid as wishes to the deceased:

Should your blanket be torn,
May your breezes blow warm,
May your pleasure be what you find.
May the burdens you bear
Like your bounty-be shared
May you leave something good behind

May the sky and the land
Rise to your command
May your senses come like the night.
Live in peace with the Earth
As in death-As in birth
May you prosper, and have a good life.

Irving Berlin also wrote, "The song is ended, but the melody lingers on..." 

And Emily Dickinson who wrote;

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 't is centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

Dear Margaret,

I found these words of great comfort when losing my mother.

A poem called "Turn Again To Life"

If I should die and leave you here awhile,
Be not like others, sore and undone,
Who keep long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.
For my sake - turn again to life and smile
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine
And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.

A poem entitled, "I am Free" Margaret. One that I personally find is both comforting for the loss of a friend or loved one and one that is perhaps best read as a eulogy.

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God has laid you see.
I took His hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee
God wanted me now; He set me free.